Oh yes, I am now back to work doing what is called ‘phased return’. Basically it is a gradual return to work once the GP has signed a fit note.
I started with four hours the first day, week one, most of which was in meetings. Two mornings in week two and three last week. I have now visited all the areas I usually go.
I have had a lot of love since returning; but have found it a bit overwhelming. I am used to to quiet life now so it was a bit full on with everyone making a fuss and all. I appreciate it really and don’t mean to sound ungrateful.
I have been asked a lot of times whether I am glad to be back at work. Last year I would have said yes, and meant it. Now, although I am glad to see people I care about and like, I would be as happy not being there at all.
I just feel like I have better things to be doing. When the sun is out I don’t want to be stuck inside. I want time to myself and to do lunch. My social life is going to suffer badly. To be fair though. I wouldn’t be able to afford to go out if I wasn’t working. I am a bit motivated but have a bit of can’t be bothereditis.
My tolerance levels are also low. I was maybe a bit too nice before I went off. I am not feeling like suffering fools gladly any more. I am not accepting excuses, I am not arguing with someone who wanted my advice but doesn’t like what he hears. You get the picture.
A few weeks ago I said that I didn’t think cancer had changed my life, but maybe I was mistaken. My feelings change from day to day depending mostly on tiredness, maybe on my next update I will be a bit more cheerful.