So yesterday was another move forward in my journey with this miserable cancer.
I saw the consultant with the results of my lymph node clearance. In all I had 11 cancer cells including the 2 from the the sentinal node biopsy which means I will definitely have a CT scan. To me this seems like a lot of cancer cells and when I asked he showed me the current survival statistics for people with breast cancer at this stage. he pointed out that these people died had breast cancer but not necessarily of breast cancer.
Survival rate for a woman of my age is still 80% at 5 years and 62% at 10 years. I am happy with these odds but will do everything I can to improve them with excercise and self care.
I got my CT scan appointment and same day will have my oncologist appointment and be told all about chemo.
I was told I would definitely have radiotherapy after the chemo. I always thought this would happen going on the experience of other people I know who have been through the system but had the breast unit had always said I might have it.
So, apart from the number of cancer cells I feel a bit happier today. I know more, have firmer plan and now need to prepare for the next stage. I will be looking up all things chemo and already have a slew of questions to ask.
Yesterday I felt miserable and dare I say, a little sorry for myself. Today I am back to being OK; as much as one can be with a diagnosis like this.
In other news I am working on a fitness plan to start next week. I had done well recovering the first time round physically and mentally. This time I have already been slower and and more miserable. I have been fighting my need for rest and the need to be doing something. In my mind I have been going back to work and I have not felt ill.
Now I have to move my thinking along. I cannot and will not be going back to work until I am actually fit and well. I have to develop a new routine to replace the intense day I had at work which is flexible for bad days but have achievable things to do.
I need to forgive myself on days when I can’t do anything and take care to pace myself on days when I feel like I can do anything.
Today I am having lunch with a good friend and an invite to a harvest event at a friends church this evening. I am not religious but know some of the people and there will be a live band and fish and chip supper. I may feel tired so may not go but that is OK with my friend.
I consider myself to be very fortunate. I have good family support and a fantastic array of friends who are waiting to support me in all sorts of ways while I go through this. The intensity of support has dropped off a little but I know that if I asked for something these people would do what they could.
Amazingly I feel happy.