What do you mean where have I been? Alright, you got me, I am a rubbish blogger. Not the sort that will ever make any money at it.
Actually there have been all sorts of things affecting me of late. I have been wading around in a pit of despair, some of which was not mine. I have a few friends with enduring mental health problems and before Christmas and after it they were all unwell.
One has bipolar disorder and was admitted to hospital. She had lost loads of weight because she was so depressed she had stopped eating and drinking.
Another had borderline personality disorder and was also in the depths of despair, the worst for years. Nothing could lift her. She started going down in September and only started lifting out of it in the last few weeks.
A third has split with her abusive husband and had struck up a friendship which she would hope went further than it did. She wanted love and security and he couldn’t give it to her.
Myself? The whole period between October and last week has been overshadowed over a presentation I have had to do for work. I have been miserable and scared. It is over now and I did it even though I was offered the chance not to.
All four of us are now on the up. Friend one has been discharged from hospital and is starting to go back to work on phased return. Friend two has had a light bulb moment about her whole life in relation to her mental illness, the things that have happened to her and is getting help to work through it as well as getting her medicines reviewed. The third is more accepting that things were not going to go anywhere with this man. I have done my presentation and had good feedback.
I got overwhelmed. I got immobilised by the fear of doing that presentation. Now I have to harness the confidence I got from. I need to push myself into the limelight more and let people know who I am. The opportunities are there; watch this space.
One of my mantras is ‘nothing stays the same‘. this is especially so with periods like this when everything seems to be going wrong.
Finally on a positive note. I now have an allotment which I am sure I will be telling you more about.